Archive for the ‘Emotions’ Category



Interesting side note on the song. Kenny Chesney and his crew were set to film a video to this song (which was originally released in 1994) in the afternoon of September 11, 2001, at the WTC site. There was an equipment malfunction that delayed the production of the video and ultimately led to the shoot being rescheduled. Thankfully, that delay caused Kenny and the crew to not be at the site that day.

I love this song. Boy, there is some pain in those lyrics. A long long long time ago I threatened to get a tin man tattoo. I just listened to those lyrics and felt a connection and quite possibly envy of the tin man – never to feel a broken heart or any pain that is non-physical. I assume by giving up the ability to feel pain, one would sacrifice the ability to feel all the few good emotions. That wouldn’t be ideal.

While its impossible that I could simply not feel love or any emotions, I still find the tattoo idea very fascinating.



“Human beings lose their logic in their vindictiveness.” ~ Elizabeth Stanton.

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And now to take on a hot button issue. I have only voiced my my opinions on this in private. I want to cause my readers to think about what I want to share. I want you to set aside your preconceived feelings and thoughts and start anew. Lets wipe the board clean and lay out some facts and see where we end up. Lets use LOGIC rather than emotion. Keep in mind – emotions are liars. They convince you to feel things you don’t normally feel.

The topic: The George Zimmerman trial. Before I go further, let me just say I have sat NEXT to defendants in trials. Some on trial for their life. No, I was never a defendant. Whether they felt they were innocent or not, they admittedly were scared as to what the 12 folks in the box thought of the case. I imagine Mr. Zimmerman is scared right now, too. This case also involves the folks who lost their loved one – for life. They are obviously hurt. I do not intend to promote either cause in this case.

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What I would like for folks to ponder is the sensationalism of this case. Its promoted by many in the media and other spokespeople (Al, Jesse, etc.) as a hate crime. We have a young black man who died as a result of a gunshot administered by another man of a different race. But, the man that pulled the trigger is of two races. His is half Caucasian (which may only be 1/4) and half Hispanic and of course he is allegedly Jewish. So why is this classified as a hate crime? Why are their marches and demonstrations? For the record, the man Aaron Hernandez allegedly shot and killed was a black man. Hate crime? Note: there isn’t the slightest allegation that the Hernandez victim threw any punches that led to his demise. So again, I ask why is this case promoted in a fashion to sell tv time and sell papers and used as an avenue for several spokespeople to request significant monetary donations to allow them to keep shouting albeit form very expensive hotels, conference rooms and with a very expensive travel budget. It doesn’t seem logical.

Some other statistics. Last weekend, in Chicago, around 54 black men were murdered. Preliminary reports are that most, if not all, were murdered by other black men. Where are the protests and marches? Why aren’t the spokespeople, and others who profit from these travesties using the money and resources to fight against these atrocities?

Lets go back to the immediate argument. I have several friends who chose a side on this and I will not sell them out. Lets say Zimmerman is “half white/half hispanic.” Why is the white half the racist half that falls under the guise of a hate crime? His neighbors (who come from many different races, including mixed race) state emphatically he was not a racist guy. I will add NO ONE really knows a person unless you spend every second with them, but then only that person knows whats truly in their heart. 

Now the logic question: Our president is “half white/half black” so which is he? If he shot a black man, would it be a hate crime? Same question if he shot a white man? Almost everyone I asked, considered the President to be “the first black President.” When I hear this, I ask them who chooses? Why does he have to be one or the other? I GET A LOT OF CONDESCENDING LOOKS AS RESPONSES.

From what I have seen and heard of the trial, I have to feel there is evidence of doubt which, by law one would legally have to vote for acquittal. Its more than likely why the police and DA chose in the beginning not to charge Mr. Zimmerman to begin with. I have no idea if he is truly guilty, if Mr. Zimmerman is a racist, or if Mr. Martin was a good kid/bad kid, or if he really attacked then threatened Mr. Zimmerman that he would die. Many of my readers have no clue as to these things, either.

I am certainly not a racist. Heck, take a look at my family 🙂 What I’m against here is the perpetuation of something that by logic doesn’t exist so that corporations and spokespeople can line their coffers with cash. There are murders everywhere. The immediate case may or may not may not have been one.

A genuine fear is that Mr. Sharpton has been linked to several riots in which folks have been killed. Authorities are justifiably terrified that Sharpton’s incitement will precipitate riots if George Zimmerman is released or found not guilty. After a traffic accident in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn (8/19/91) tragically took the life of seven year old Gavin Cato, segments of the black community – urged on by Sharpton and others – rioted in the Hassidic Jewish community and killed a Jewish man as his 7 year old son watched.

Folks we can end this when the media is hyping it, papers are promoting it, and other folks are throwing fuel on the fire. If Mr. Zimmerman is found not guilty, is justice served by rioting in the streets of Florida?

I feel like this case is similar to the final scene in A Time to Kill when Carl Lee’s attorney asks the jury to imagine the victim as a white girl. In other words take the sensationalism and emotions out of it. The case is whether it was justified self defense or not. There is no need to promote and profit from a race campaign, when, if we all looked at this logically, could not exist.


As expected, the jury saw what I felt they would. GZ was guilty of something, but under Florida law, he was not guilty of the crimes for which he had been charged. One juror stated they felt he was guilty of “something’ just nothing that was on the paper. 

Whether you agree with the outcome or not, can we please stop the stupidity going on around this country? Folks jumping people based on race and shouting “This is for Trayvon” as if some random guy in Senatobia, MS or Baltimore, MD had anything to do with this. 

The cake taker today was the professor at UPenn. She said this BULLSH*T. Really? Because of the verdict, this proves your theory that God is white and hates black folks? Amazing what tenure at a private university can do to one’s ego. Even more amazing is that an educated person states God is “white.” Jesus was born in Israel and was born to the parents of Mary – Israelite and Joseph – Israelite. (yes I know God is the birth father and Joseph is the protector). Point here is, that if you take the time to Google what a native Israelite looks like — then take it back 2049 years (year 2013 plus 36 years) and consider lack of ease in ethnic migration at that time, you’ll see what I mean. God was more than likely NOT “white” in the European/Caucasian sense.  Sorry if that rubs folks the wrong way. 




Cliffs notes: A young woman, who is Caucasian, applied to the University of Texas in 2008. She was denied admission. It was later discovered that MANY others were admitted with lower test scores, lower GPA’s, and with fewer recommendations, and fewer extracurricular activities.

Consequently, she sued the University over the Affirmative Action policy to admit minorities with the same, or even lower qualifications OVER someone who is not a member of a protected class. Basically, her lawsuit was based upon a reverse discrimination case. The argument is that the best applicant should win no matter what race, religion, etc. The Supreme Court was set to decide the issue today. However, in a chicken(ish) move, the Sup. Ct. decided via 7-1 vote to send the case back down to the lower Courts for additional rulings and findings. (Ruling found here).

This is a tough one for me. If my child had a 3.8 GPA and a 1500 (old score) SAT and was denied admission over ANYONE with a 3.5 and 1400, I would be furious. It has nothing to do with race, religions, ethnicity, etc. Conversely, If my child had a 3.5 and a 1400 and was denied in place of the 3.8 and 1500 student, I’d say, “Well, you got beat. Try again, or pick another school.” I just don’t see denying the clearly qualified student. What I feel should be done is a set standard of all scores above a certain number combined with a GPA above a certain number get in. The school can then admit any number of individuals based upon a quota of protected class members it chooses. But those with scores above them should not be denied. Set a bar for all students. If you are above that bar, you get in. If you are below that bar, you may not. But tell students ahead of time where the bar is located. SET A STANDARD FOR ADMISSIONS. DUH!

This is why I love the spirit of Olympic competition. Its the best in the world head-to-head and the judge is a stopwatch, a bulls eye, or a measuring stick. (No, I do not like subjective scoring events.) If Usain Bolt (Go Jamaica!) wins the 100M, is the stop watch racist? If Micheal Phelps wins the 400M, is the stop watch racist?  No, of course not.

We all know that race relations is a hot button issue in this country. It appears these types of policies throw fuel on the fire. Then when given the opportunity, the Sup. Ct. takes the coward way out of resolving this.

“Art is a jealous mistress; and if a man have a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture or philosophy, he makes a bad husband and an ill provider.” Emerson, Ralph Waldo.

Almost everyone has a hobby or interest that they love doing. It can be fishing, hunting, reading, facebooking, tweeting, playing video games, candy crush, playing a sport, following a team, or even following their favorite television program. You cant wait for the next opportunity to participate in whatever it is you like doing. It pulls at you like a jealous mistress. The mistress that lurks when you are home with your family.

Bonne Esperance, Saint Croix, United States Vi...

Bonne Esperance, Saint Croix, United States Virgin Islands (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My jealous mistress is a 27 by 6 mile wide island known as St. Croix. I miss her and everything about her. She’s beautiful. She’s smells wonderful and she warms my heart. Upon arrival, I embrace her with a deep breath, a stretch of my arms and a calm warm smile that flows from the heart to my mouth. I shut my eyes for a second and take it all in. Ah! Here at last. I begin greeting everyone I recognize which is usually a lot of people. Quite often Dave or Wally is there to pick me up. More smiles as I embrace brothers whom I have been close to for many years.

There I am happy. I stare out the window as we drive into Christiansted. I like to watch the changing landscape and view all the roadside vendors. And I stare at the water. That blue is hypnotizing. I once told Alicia her blue eyes could stare into my soul. Its the same effect here.

It wouldn’t be a mistress if it didn’t compete for my love. See, my kids and family are here – stateside. To be there, I had to be without them. To be with them, I couldn’t be there. I believe it became obvious to Alicia when she kept catching me just staring out the window. I remembered a quote from Herb Louthian that said,  “The law was a jealous mistress.” (He’s a lawyer.) It hit me. I was infatuated and I lusted after something else. I have been back and forth I estimate 50 times since August 2003. I have been there as short as 2 days and as long as 3 months.

In September 2009, I took Alicia for 9 days. Me, Alicia, and the mistress. Its the closest I ever want to come to a threesome. I was nervous and scared. What is she hated it? My goal was to live there once the kids were in college. Little did I know she would end up falling in love with her, too. In fact, if you ever read her blogs, you’ll see that she posts more about St. Croix than I do. I actually saw her cry when she had to tell her goodbye and board the plane.

She made a lot of friends during that trip. We were invited to live with complete strangers in little apartments above their shops in Fredericksted. We’re odd for saying it to most Cruicians, but we love the West End and Fredericksted. Cane Bay, which is my favorite beach is located nearby. The most amazing drive is Cane bay to Fredericksted via the rain forest. Stopping of course to see Momma, having a shot of MommaWanna, and sharing a beer with her pigs.

Sunday Fundays are spent on the Chinese Cookie anchored out at Buck Island. Saturday is the party bus which hits so many local beach bars you forget how many you have visited, where your flip flops are, you “real” name, and of course your shirt.

English: Buck Island, St. Croix, USVI Slovenči...

English: Buck Island, St. Croix, USVI Slovenčina: Buck Island, St. Croix, Americké Panenské ostrovy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are so many places I love to eat that i fear naming any would leave some off. My top four are 1. David J’s deck (haha so I can stumble to my room), 2. Savant, 3. Bachus, and 4. Kendricks.

So see my mistress, is beautiful, can cook, has awesome curves, is fun to play with, encourages me to bring along my wife, and offers things that cannot be found anywhere else.

One thing I have failed to mention adequately. St. Croix is home to some of the nicest people in the world. EVERYONE speaks. You announce “Hello” when you enter a room in St. Croix and everyone responds. Everyone gives from the heart. All of those lives form the Bob Marley songs are true. Its a one love community. In St. Croix you can find someone worth hundreds of millions of dollars, sitting next to someone who is homeless and sharing a beer and a laugh.

cane baycane bay sign

I leave you with Cane Bay Beach. The sun set behind those mountains in the distance. It resembles the fire that that burns in my heart that one day, we’ll be living just on the other side of that hill.


Montana to Rice: As a kid this was my favorite play. I used to throw the football to myself and run and catch it over my shoulder pretending I was Jerry Rice scoring the long pass for the TD. Unfortunately my height prohibited me from reaching that dream. There are no wide receivers in the NFL as vertically challenged as me. I think that was the only dream I ever had of being a receiver. Joe Montana and Steve Young were the givers most of Jerry Rice’s 197 touchdown receptions. Great to be on the receiving end when yo had those guys tossing you the ball.


Many of us are givers. I’m a giver. My love languages are service and words of affirmation. I get great pleasure from giving and seeing the joy on others’ faces. Far more than I get from receiving an awesome gift or service. I like to feel as though I served a purpose or did some good deed.
I keep using the word “I” so it would appear. Giving is not about me in the since I need something from you as a receipt a gift or service from me. My receipt is affirmation FROM ME. I have to look myself in the mirror each day and decide whether I have given something each day or helped someone or if I have taken all day off and leeched off someone. The thought of the latter makes me ill.

It was suggested to me that my desire to give might be based on male ego. “The man provides.” It may be, but I see nothing wrong with that. So what if I like to give as sense of self purpose. My “reward” in that scenario is internal. Is there something really wrong with that? If anyone thinks so, please share. If I give you a $100 or wash your car and my return on my investment means I feel better about myself, is that wrong? The receiver received something of value, too, with nothing given in exchange. I just don’t see that there is anything wrong about who I am in that regard. If the giver (in this instance – me) never says you owe me or keeps accounting of the gift or service, isn’t that acceptable?

Is it ever good to be a taker? We can argue all day long about takers. Those that take every handout from friends, family or the Government and provide nothing in return. It seems as most agree we wouldn’t want to be that type of person. But there are plenty of those. I’m not one of those folks, but I’d probably give to this type of people, too.

For better or worse, I’m just a giver. I like making people happy and I like being happy with myself.


bang head here

In psychology, frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be.

Some of the top stress causing factors are:

1. Employment (lack thereof, limited growth, company pressures, financial concerns);

2. Children;

3. Financial Concerns;

4. Interpersonal Relationships (spouses/significant others, family, friends, co-workers);

5. Traffic;

6. Technology – “my computer is frozen”;

7. Services – Cable/phone/internet are down;

8. Conflicting schedules (family, work, etc.) and limited amount of time to spread yourself out;

9. Not being able to come up with a topic to blog about;

10. This little number:

puzzle bra


Life is full of stress inducing hurdles each day. For some, those squeezy balls do the trick. I used to chomp the hell out of ice, but that doesn’t work anymore and I  often sliced the roof of my mouth by chomping the ice into shards. Lately, I have given deep thought into getting one of those hanging body bags (punching bags) although I have genuine fear of causing my hands to suffer from boxer’s fracture. For those that don’t know,  a “boxer’s fracture” occurs as a result of axial loading of the 4th and/or 5th transverse neck of the metacarpal bone secondary to an indirect force such as striking an object with a closed fist. I have done this once already and my 4th digit which has not been deformed for 15 years because I was too stubborn to have it reset. If I do make this purchase I’m wise enough now to purchase some tape and some gloves. Other things I like to do to rid my body of stress and frustration is 1. dropping 40 bucks in the batting cages and smashing 80 mph pitches from the left and right side, fishing, and/or blasting my iPod, with gangsta rap (yeah I know), some awesome rock, or even a little country. The batting cages with the iPod is the best thing ever.

If you ever run into me at the batting cages with my iPod blasting —stay away! Haha far away.

Feel free to leave your stress inducers in the comments and/or how you like to expel all that penned up frustration. I’m going to get some quarters. No. 10 has me angry today. Or was it No. 5? Who cares, give me the quarters.